Archive for October, 2008

what exactlly is it

These days I am going through something strange. I suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and think of you and what you will be doing at this hour. I sleep at night thinking of you, hoping that you will be in my dreams. I am talking to myself all my days and nights. I wake up to wish you good morning.
Restless is what I am all through the day, waiting for you to talk to me. And funny is it that I keep fumbling for words when we are talking.
It’s funny to dream of things that are not only difficult to happen but are almost impossible.
I think it is really difficult to sit with a lot on your mind and your heart thumping hard and still not able to tell you how much I missed you all this time when I was alone and how much I love you and care for you.
I am going through a purple patch of my life and I cant thank you for this, may be I never will but I wish someday, I tell you and hope that you will too feel the same.
I am a stranger to this world. This world of love.
The past was terribly wrong. I never felt this for you even if you think otherwise.
It was a whole world of mistakes that I created. They always say your first impression is the last one. I messed it up. Damn!! I was such a fool.
I may never explain you why I did that may be silliness have no explanations, but I want to tell you this. If I could for once control time I would like to clear that patch of my life from time and from your life too.
I never felt how silly I am when I said you all that which I never meant. I hurted you a lot but they were not all my fault. May be time was not right or may be fate was not with me.
But it still is a hundred miles away from me.
Loosing you made me realise how much I missed you. And it has taught me a lot. I have realised what those words mean to people who are in love and I realised it with a first hand experience.
But life is all about rights and wrongs. I was on the wrong path but now I am on the right way. Life has never been easy to me and I never complained about it. But this time with you, I wish it was. I am whatever it’s all because of you. It’s for the first time that I am not afraid of the reciprocations of my action. Love has made me a daredevil.
I am ready to risk all for you.

All my loss and gains will be because of you. I am not blaming you. I just can’t do. When I loved you I never took a promise from my heart that you will be mine for sure, but I just started caring for you. The care is now more than its meaning and its time for me to adjudge it to be love of my life, you.

You have every reason to be angry with me. But for once I wish I was able to explain you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. May be words are not enough for me and they never will be. But like it is said words are all I have to take your heart away.
I have a very bad impression as a person on you. It’s my entire mistake. But I want you to forget that and just be able to realize that how much love has changed me and how much is it because of you. Please be with me.


my dream

Everyone of us dream. But this is a dream different form others. It’s a dream I am dreaming for last month or so. I am dreaming of being with you. I am dreaming of your presence al around me.

It’s silly and so is me. Whatever I am doing is just for you.

And damn I am so happy. I am all smiles day in day out.

Laughing at difficulties and facing challenges. It seems I am never alone. Every time I am idle I am with you, thinking of you, talking to you, praying for you.


Its love finally and girl I am loving every moment of it.!!

I don’t want this to end ever. I just want to live in this dream all my life. I never felt so much enjoying ever. I am feeling the freshness of air, the fragrance of  flowers, the sound of water flowing from air. I am loving the moon light and sun seems to be smiling all the time. The rains are fun and evening are pleasant then ever.

You are making all this possible and without even knowing.

You have completely changed me. You have made me a better person.

I know I was never a person you would like to spend your time with but that doesn’t stop me from loving you, in-fact more. I never ever felt this strong for any girl I met. It seems all my life I was a nomad living on the directions of the sand. Suddenly, you came there and showed me the crystals around me.

You have made me a poet and you are my inspiration and you are my poem.


I may never be able to tell you all this.

I am never be able to explain the reasons.

But I want to.

But you have taken my words from me and I am now searching for words.

I do not want to hurt you ever so may never be able to tell you how much I love you.



The past was never what I wanted to. It was full of mistakes and silly fate of mine. All this has led me top a place when it is difficult for me to be back with you but  some day I would tell you how much you mean to me and how important  your presence is for me.!!


Forgive me if you can. I want to begin it afresh with no past.


please come back to me and please be the precious gift i want for my life.